Choke me in the shallow water before I get too deep.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:41:10 GMT

Devastated. Taking a break.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:47:04 GMT

Migraine lingers. I'm sure it's stress. My inspection is tomorrow and I'm scrambling to purge, purge, purge. Cherice put most of my papers into three boxes and I managed to go through the smallest of the three last night. I still don't have a vacuum and I'm wishing I had more time to shop around.

Nancy and RC are having a going-away gathering tonight and I was really hoping to make it, but it sure doesn't look good. Not sure I'd want to do karaoke with my head raging anyway.

Just trying to keep looking forward. Thanksgiving isn't far away and I can't wait!

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:20:07 GMT

I've gotten another migraine. I woke up with it on Monday morning and it continues to linger. I need to keep better track of these.

Usually, they're in my left eye. This one has been at the base of my head/top of my neck off to the left. It arrived with a bit of an earache. Just tonight, it's taking over my left eye.

On a brighter note, C no longer has a fever, just a cough. I emailed his school nurse to see about sending him to school tomorrow. It won't be 24 hours since his fever broke, but pretty close. We'll see. Better safe than sorry... I just hate for him to fall behind.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:17:49 GMT

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I'm working on my second day of the same headache and C was coughing off and on all night. His temp this morning was 101.4 (not 107.4 - definitely a typo!), so at least we're heading in the right direction.

I called in to work to get more sleep, and also to make sure C eats something during the day and keeps drinking lots of fluids. Maybe I'll get to the store this afternoon.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:41:40 GMT

I have a thermometer now. C has a temp of 102.6. (I am not running a temp, thank goodness.) He stayed in bed and slept all day and just got up for the first time saying, "Mom, I don't know if I wet the bed or if all that is sweat, I'm so hot." So I'm doing laundry tonight. I'm so freakin' tired. I hope I can stay awake for Heroes.

I should probably run to the store. I hardly have any food in the house, not that C is really eating much.

Popsicles. Top of my list.

Maybe tomorrow.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:54:47 GMT

I got a sympathy card for the first time in my life. It makes me feel weird.

On a brighter note, my BFF invited me and C-Monster down to her place for Thanksgiving, so I'm feeling less like an orphan. It's nice to have something to look forward to.

cosmicbandit has been my best friend since the 5th grade and I am so grateful to still have her in my life. I really love her family too. Her husband is cool and fun and her kids are sweet. I can't think of anything better than a visit with her to lift my spirits.

Also, I'm getting my "annual" inspection from the housing authority months earlier than expected. Thankfully, Cherice is coming over on Tuesday night to help kick-start my cleaning frenzy. I don't know how I'd manage without her.

Shopping List:

1. ~~Thermometer (I lost mine.)~~

2. Vacuum cleaner (Before Friday.)

3. Groceries (~~milk, bread,~~ muffins, ~~bananas, lettuce, juice,~~ arborio rice)

fan-fucking-tastic

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:18:48 GMT

Elton John & Billy Joel POSTPONED

ELTON JOHN & BILLY JOEL
Face 2 Face

SEATTLE CONCERTS POSTPONED

Promoter Live Nation and KeyArena at Seattle Center were informed by management today that Elton John has been advised by his doctor to postpone these performances due to a serious case of e-coli bacterial infection and influenza.

Organizers of the event are working to establish a new date. All patrons who have purchased tickets for the Face 2 Face concerts on Wednesday, November 4 and Saturday, November 7 at the KeyArena are being asked to hold on to their tickets until more information is available regarding the proposed rescheduled engagements.

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 02:37:02 GMT

Where did my weekend go?

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:09:11 GMT

I spent the latter part of my evening sitting in my living room piled with stacks and stacks of books, an early inheritance. My parents spent the weekend filling my garage with over forty boxes and bags of books along with other mysterious sundries. My stepfather is leaving on Friday, moving to New Hampshire and I wonder if I will ever see him again. I wonder if it will be easier to lose him if he is gone already.

So I continue with my folding sensation, anticipating how many times I can double over on myself before I self-destruct.

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:16:25 GMT

This weekend, I'm having a Very Merry UnBirthday Party. I've wanted to do something big for my 40th, and it's finally happening. I'm still trying to piece together decorations - I've picked up some lawn flamingos - and doing some food planning. I have a list in my head, but every day, I seem to accomplish so little, I may be scrambling at the last minute.

For my sanity, here's my to do list:

1. ~~Order cupcakes TODAY~~
2. ~~Go to Trader Joe's - dip, pita bread, garbanzo beans, crackers, nuts, artichoke hearts, gorgonzola?, wine?~~
3. Go to Costco ~~FRIDAY MORNING - parmesan, mushrooms,~~ grape tomatoes, ~~gorgonzola?~~ (Trader Joe's), veggie tray, ~~salami~~, crackers, ~~wine?~~ (There was NO WINE at the tea party. Beer and hard booze isn't mentioned, and that's what I got. Still need to swing by Saturday and get a fresh veggie tray and the crackers I forgot.
4. ~~Emboss Drink Me tags and tie to mini bottles~~
5. ~~Prepare mini quiches~~ Fuck these stupid fucking little fuckers. (I went ahead and just made a regular quiche. It looks pretty good.)
6. Stuff mushrooms
7. ~~Make artichoke dip and crostini~~
8. ~~lice cheeses~~
9. ~~Prepare meatballs~~
10. Prepare tea sammiches
11. ~~Charge camera~~
12. Type up song list (crap - should have done that AGES ago!) NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
13. ~~Make tarts (Can I just buy these?)~~ (Close enough -- I made one big one.)
14. ~~Send out rhyming reminder~~
15. ~~Pick up cupcakes from QFC noon on Saturday~~
16. ~~Go to QFC - sliced baguettes...something else...crap.~~ TARTS, maybe??
17. ~~Prepare hummus.~~

I have to figure out what to wear. I had a couple of friends that wanted to dress up as Alice and the Mad Hatter, and I got inwardly pouty at first. Now, I think it would be cool. If only I could figure out how to dress up like the Queen of Hearts. Too bad a tiara, scepter and red corset aren't in the budget.

*editing as I make progress or realize something I've forgotten

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 08:41:35 GMT

I guess I haven't posted in a while. It's not that nothing's going on, just nothing I feel like sharing. I'm in a place I usually don't go until the weather gets darker, and I'm not sure why.

Family

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:03:11 GMT

Okay...there's a lot to write about family from my visit, but I'm just going to talk about my unusual visit with my former stepmother.

We haven't talked much over the years except now and then. She was the one who told me about my sister when I was in Montana for a visit back when I was 20. But that's another story, I suppose.

Anyway, we had a bit of time to catch up at my brother's wedding and I had planned to stop by on my way to Montana to see her and her kids, maybe stay the night. I never could reach her - I had the wrong number, it turned out - but she called me while I was on the road. She said, "What are you doing?" I told her that I just passed through Spokane, and why couldn't she call me sooner? "Where are you?" she asked. I looked around. "Uh...Post Falls?" "Turn around! Come see me!" So that's what I did.

My stepmother lives on the west side of Spokane (of course) with her husband, three kids, and a number of pets, including at least one wolf. When I arrived, the husband was sleeping on the couch and her son had friends over hanging out in the back yard. C was very excited to see his "uncle," but I think that he may have cramped his style a little bit.

My stepmother and I sat at the kitchen table with her oldest daughter who has decided she is my sister by default, and we looked at the photos from the wedding, having a good laugh at the bride's mother who was showcasing her rack. There were hardly any of our side of the family, except for some with my dad and brother. Whatever.

So we're having a glass of wine, and out of nowhere my stepmother says, "I want to apologize to you for being so mean to you when you were growing up. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that at all." I was dumbfounded. She went on to say that she realized how harsh she was with me and she really felt terrible about it. I just didn't know what to say. I told her that even then I knew that she was really hurting and angry with my dad, not with me. Besides, she was nothing compared to my evil first stepmother. She dismissed the comparison, and said it was no excuse and apologized again. It didn't matter that she was suddenly thrust into motherhood with a basically feral child left to my own devices before she arrived. Seriously. I hated bathing, rarely used a hairbrush, and ate with my hands.

I remembered the times when we would sit drinking Rainier beer late at night, listening to music while she would tell me about how my father would never ask her how her day went while Kenny Rankin sang about walking through the silver morning. When I told my stepmother that I had seen him in concert, she was surprised. She said, "That's the guy who sings 'White Bird,' right?" I corrected her. He sang the Beatles' "Blackbird" on the album. "White Bird" was by It's a Beautiful Day, which we also listened to right along with Judy Collins.

She had forgotten the music she loved so much. I went out to my car and grabbed my Kenny Rankin cd so we could revisit that bit of the past, a good part worth sharing. She said, "I had no idea that I had such an impact on you." "See?" I told her. "There's good stuff too."

The Ten Commandments

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 03:26:57 GMT

I was surprised at how many people in Kalispell have a giant copy of the Ten Commandments posted in their front yards. I wish that I had bought my camera before I arrived; I could have taken at least six or eight pictures of this oddity.

Or maybe it isn't so odd. Anyplace else you know do this? Do they think they need to remind their neighbors or something?

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:05:34 GMT

I left Montana today and decided to drive straight through rather than stay a night in Spokane. So I'm home.

So far, it sucks.

There's glass in my window sill and a little on my floor, and I think I'm going to try to figure out how to remove my screen door completely if my landlord isn't going to replace the glass.

My search for a new place may be reinstated.... Grr.

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 05:06:55 GMT

I'm on the last leg of my road trip. It's been interesting on so many levels. Right now, I'm just south of Missoula in Florence, Montana staying with my friend Kiki and her two kids. I think I will always finish up my road trips at her place to guarantee that things end on a good note.

My plan is to leave on Thursday, stay a night in Spokane, then drive the other half on Friday. But if I can't stay with my sister or find a room I can afford, I may just do the drive in a straight shot. We'll see.

While I was here, my landlord called to let me know that the glass on my screen door was shot out and there are shots to my front window, likely from a kid across the street. I hope she takes care of it all before I return. Makes me want to stay longer.

Hey...now that's a thought...

But I have an appointment on Tuesday and tickets to see John Pizzarelli at Jazz Alley on Thursday, so if I stay... Oh, wait! There's a Game Day on Saturday.

Yep. I'll be home this weekend.

List

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:10:47 GMT

There's so much from my trip I want to write about, but I really don't have time. Here's a list to remind me:

~~The Ten Commandments~~
Everything is made of t
Family stuff
Brad Duncan
Hello to the hairdresser
Hello to Robin and Barb, neighbors who helped me survive my childhood
Moose's with Laura
The old lumber yard, now coffee shop
The declining nasty hotel
Norm's News and Syke's Grocery
4th of July
My brother the husband/jackass (still love him)

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:08:29 GMT

I got word today - FINALLY - that our waiver was accepted. C can attend school in Shoreline instead of the Seattle School District. We don't have to move! We don't have to fill out a pile of paperwork! We don't have to settle for Kamiak! This is a HUGE weight lifted! I have been stressing about this since his school went on the chopping block.

Now I can really enjoy my trip to Montana. Can't wait!!

And when I get back, my BFF will be living in the same state!

Life is good.

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 11:03:24 GMT

In blinding contrast to the last few months, the last two days have been spectacular. I should have been coming out of my seasonal funk around February, but with the break-up followed by screwing up my knee, then a uncomfortable return to an unwelcoming classroom, the misery just seemed endless. Sometimes, the onset of summer brings a new sort of depression - I have no routine, so I just stay in bed.

That isn't happening.

I got a call late Monday night from a guy I've been seeing. (I'm not sure I've mentioned him on LJ, but I've referenced him to friends as my "cougar trainwreck.") He wanted to come by, and although I always want to see him, I explained that I had called him earlier to see if he wanted to have dinner with me. He had mentioned he liked broccoli and I had made a big batch of broccoli cheese soup. When I didn't hear from him, I ate the whole batch. I had to explain further that broccoli doesn't agree with me so much to begin with, but I really overdid it, and he should probably keep his distance. He persisted; I relented.

So we had some gentle snuggle time, and he told me he had Tuesday off. (He NEVER seems to have days off. EVER.) So I asked if he would stay, and he did. We slept in until about noon, then to my surprise, spent the day together, which we've never done. He took me to lunch at a Thai restaurant in Ballard that I had been thinking of checking out, then he wanted to show me the new movie theater at Northgate. Nothing interesting to both of us was showing, so we headed to Oak Tree and he indulged me in a CHICK FLICK. (Yes. He's hoping to bank some serious brownie points for when he inevitably pisses me off again.) We saw "The Proposal," and he was laughing as much as I was.

While we were watching the show, his sister called. Because his family came into town for his mother's memorial, she wanted him to come home for dinner and spend it with everyone before they headed back to California. I didn't realize they were still here.

Anyway, he insisted he still had some time, and did I want to take that walk around Greenlake? So we did, then grabbed ice cream before heading back to my place. I was in such a good mood, I actually did a bit of cleaning. (Not much, but some!) Then, I headed down to Ballard to feed Pax and I hung out with him purring next to me while I watched the Food Network.

Today was another full day. I slept in until I had to drive up to Mukilteo for physical therapy. I was supposed to meet up with Miss LaLa, but she had to take her daughter to an ortho appointment, so we're shooting for next week. So instead of getting coffee, I ran to the border and indulged my craving for cheap tacos. I took them home and stuffed more cheese into them before eating them, so they were really yummy. I tried to watch television, but couldn't get into anything, so around 3:00, I decided to take a nap. I woke up and raced to meet shoewhore76 at Pomodoro on Eastlake for drinks and dinner, her belated birthday treat to me. We met around 6:20 (I was late), and started with a cocktails. The owner/chef was also the bartender and waiter, and very charming. Randi and I will definitely be back! The ravioli tapas with hummus, smoked mozzarella and black truffles was to die for, as was everything else. But then, the owner brought out a piece of his Grand Marnier chocolate mousse cake with a candle for my birthday and had everyone in the tiny restaurant sing. Randi and I shared this - I don't think I could have handled it alone - and sipped coffee to finish off our night. We visited until - gosh! - I think it was nearly 11:00. Fantastic drinks, incredible food, and the warm comfort of good, easy conversation with a treasured friend. What could be better?

I headed back to Ballard to take care of Pax, then drove home. I was tempted to head up to Mill Creek to catch Girls' Night Out with Andrea, Kitty, et al, but decided it was too late and instead have just been dinking about on the computer and musing over the last 48 hours. Tomorrow proves to be another great day. layers_of_me is coming over to visit, and we are going to eat, drink, sing, and be generally merry. Can't wait!

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:43:20 GMT

1. School is almost out.

2. I peeked at C's grades today and it appears that my threat to send him to Sylvan for tutoring over the summer worked. I told him that if he had anything below a C, he would go. He has one D, but they haven't figured in his final, and I'm pretty sure he aced it.

3. I splurged on a mani-pedi for my brother's wedding, and it still looks pretty good.

4. Miss Meany's sister came in today to take pictures of our class. She got some super-cute ones of the kids and put them on her Facebook. (I thought that was illegal...hmm...) Anyway, I downloaded my favorites.

5. Today, C turned to me and told me how much fun he had with me on our "mini road trip." It meant a lot to me because I know I'm not the FUN parent. Now, I'm looking forward to our trip to Montana even more!

6. I finally found someone to take dance lessons with me. :)

7. I have a job next year. I'll be working in preschool -- my favorite!

8. I have a washer and dryer inside my home, a convenience that I am grateful for often.

9. The weather today was SO NICE. After so much cold and yucky followed by having to deal with so much heat, it was nice to have a day that was perfect for wearing a t-shirt outside.

10. Ice cold Diet Coke with lime.

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 07:04:15 GMT

Two more weeks. Tomorrow I bid on my job for next year. I'm waffling between two spots. There's one in preschool with a teacher I've never met and there's a self-contained classroom for K-1st grade, also a teacher I've never met. Or at least, I assume so, since the position isn't filled yet. I thought Miss Meany might take it, but apparently she is going to another school. The K-1st is a shorter shift, so less money, but a shorter day is remarkably inviting right now. I wish I had more time to think about it, or at least meet the teachers.

The classroom is still hell. I'm tired, but I don't want to go to bed. It's as though staying awake will keep Monday at bay.

More stuff is happening. I'm just too tired to take the time to explain.

Day of Abundance

Sat, 16 May 2009 21:43:26 GMT

Here's the
1. Tonight, Stephen is taking me to see Le Nozze di Figaro. I'm so excited, I'm singing Sull'aria around my kitchen, the duet from the show I first performed when I was 16.

2. I splurged on a new dress to wear tonight. In spite of gaining 10 pounds since my knee injury, I can still get into it, much to my relief!!

3. I was planning to take Stephen to dinner tonight, but since he is insisting on picking up the tab, I splurged on a haircut. It's been months, and I feel so cute!

4. I have an awesome kid. He's bright, respectful, funny, loving, and makes each day interesting.

5. Grandpa Bob is hanging with the C-Monster tonight. C is looking forward to spending time with him, and I'm looking forward to seeing him. He's been in the hospital a whole lot lately, and I'm just glad for any day he's not. Tonight, he's taking C to see Wolverine, and tomorrow, I think the three of us will catch the Star Trek movie. Yay!!

6. I'm glad to be back in my classroom. Miz O will be back on Monday from Tempe, Miss Meany will be recovered from her cold, and with Miss LaLa (another new nickname), our little family will be together again!

7. I'm broke, but on top of my bills, and my cupboards are well-stocked and I have plenty in my fridge and freezer.

8. My knee continues to get better. I can sit on the floor again, if only for a little while, and I can wear cute shoes without my knee raging.

9. Other than some maintenance repairs on my car (belt tensioner and belt, brake pads), I can't think of anything I really need right now.

10. I'm having dinner at The Melting Pot tonight. I've never been, but can't imagine anything better than indulging in melty cheesy goodness.

Thu, 14 May 2009 05:12:46 GMT

Today was my first day back in the classroom and I'm pooped. Miz O was out, heading to Tempe to see her daughter graduate and hear Obama speak. Miss Meany seems aloof and I need to stop taking her stress personally. The new BMAC guy working with our volatile student is young and laid back, and seems to take things in stride. I hope he sticks with it. I am also concerned that he doesn't keep a close eye on things when we're on the playground. Hope I'm wrong.

As exhausted as I am, it's good to be back.

Wed, 13 May 2009 01:54:53 GMT

I finally did something to celebrate Mother's Day, sort of. I got Chinese take-out from the Royal Unicorn, mostly so I didn't have to clean the kitchen in order to cook dinner. C is not convinced that he likes Chinese food, so nothing too complicated. He ate everything but the egg roll, and that's just fine. They're not the top of my list either.

Mon, 11 May 2009 23:58:44 GMT

So I did take that nap, expecting that C would be home at 5:00 and we might go out to dinner for Mother's Day. Instead, I woke when Dadoo delivered my son nearly two hours later than that. And he had a bratwurst on the way home, so he wasn't really hungry.

So much for that plan.

Sun, 10 May 2009 22:48:44 GMT

C is up at his dad's for the weekend, so I've found myself in yet another blue spot today. I made myself venture out and headed to Northgate. In spite of the fact that Mr. Stoic doesn't usually work weekends, I called him anyway and found he was there. Unfortunately, he was too busy to meet me for lunch, so I grabbed my book out of the car and treated my solo self to a shroom burger at Red Robin.

Now I'm full and am pondering a nap.