Current mood:

melancholy

Well, the doctor said it's a no-go. I have an appointment for an MRI next week. Physical therapy continues.

There's pain. There's walking like I have something up my ass. There's the inability to sit on the floor. There's the uncertainty of where my income will fall. But the worst thing? I feel like I'm letting my coworkers and my students down. Being out of the classroom sucks. When I went by HR to turn in my latest paperwork, I started to break down, so I asked Ms. G if she would call and let Miss Meany know I'm still out. I didn't think I could talk to her without blubbering through an apology.

Maybe that's not the worst thing. I've never had anything happen like this before. When I get hurt, I suck it up. I bounce. But there's something wrong with my knee, and it's freaking me out. I'm wondering if the incident(s) at school were the straw on the camel's back of something else.

I just don't understand why I'm not better yet.